Cold Reality, Warm Thoughts

Fresh off an 8-hour flight from California and an extra long cab right (thanks to a very confused Asian man with bad eyes…whose grave mistake in navigation left me with a free cab ride), I’m left in the quiet of my room to take advantage of the 30 minutes I have to kill before I have to get ready and go to work…oh yes, the joys of taking the red-eye.

The new addition...

My room is still disheveled from when I tossed random articles of clothing into a suitcase after my mother informed me that my older sister was in labor (about two weeks ahead of schedule).  There are still glasses on my desk left from Slick being here, and then leaving after an unnecessarily heated argument.  In the end I’m left with a new baby niece and one less best friend.

Something about New York feels colder this time around, and not because it’s 19 degrees outside right now.  Maybe it’s because my glistening expectations are replaced by hard decision making and planning.  My wide-eyed wonder of big city life has simmered into a “back to business” mentality.  The exit of my good friend is fresh but in no way new.  I’m used to people coming and going in my life, and it’s something I’ve become a pro at moving on from.  But driving around in the sunshine of California this past week… going on a booze run with my long-time friend from high school, shopping for new vibrators with my old partner in crime and having a “catch-up” dinner with my high school sweetheart was all a reminder of how much of me is still back home, and how no matter how much I establish myself in New York, it will never BE my home.

My beautiful baby niece, to whom I am a namesake (my first name is her middle name), just solidifies the fact that I want to return to California….eventually.

For now there is work to be done and I have to grab my boot straps and pull a little harder this time.  I’ll start with finding an outfit for work in the disarray and then seeking out early morning coffee before hitting the job.  Later on a large and gluttonous nap is in order and after that?….the rest of my life.

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