The i Files

Up late, strolling through memory lane via my iPhone photos.  Looking back on the journey since returning to California – it’s been pretty on the NICE side.

Juicing with Mom. ❤


Chillaxin at the pool, eating farm fresh cherries.


Progress! Me at almost 7 months….this fella is gettin big!


The coolest chick under 3 feet (my niece). We kick it hard – me her and her teddy bear.


Bowling with the fam. Several people got whopped by a pregnant chick that night.


My sister tuned 30! She’s amazing!!


The garden at William Land Park…oddly named “The Rock Garden”. Meh.


“Hold my hat and necklace.” He said before taking off into a field of grass to do back flips.



A Bit Flea Bitten

My cousin recently gifted me with a 50 mm lens for my Canon (EF 50mm f/1.8 II ) and I’ve been trying it out all over town.  Recently my sister and mom and I met up with one of my good friends Alannah to browse around the flea market.  Alannah was a little camera-shy, but my family is full of hams – so it wasn’t hard finding subjects to help play around with the new camera dud.

My sister Brittany has an infectious smile.

My mother “gracefully” attempting to fulfill a bet in which she remains on a skateboard for an entire minute. 

Thanks to some guys selling used boards – we had our challenge.

Despite failure – she posed victoriously.

My mother an I basking in the shade of her $5 “sumbrella” (rain or shine brella, if you will).

The produce market was alive and colorful.

Food bet:  the chili, cheese, churro chip with curly fry sprinkles.  She noshed in success.

Husband & I

I’m sitting here squinting at nothing in particular trying to differentiate gas from my Wiggles moving around.  Jury is still out…  But here’s a sweet picture of me and daddy-to-be at the Sacramento River last week.

I’ve been photo-lazy of late but promise to grab my camera more often when I leave the house.  Ok, now back to my current conundrum….

Back, Back to Cali, Cali….

Standing on Great Salt Lake with my baby bump facing the setting sun.

Well the road was LONG.  And I don’t just mean that figuratively.  My mother and I drove over 2900 miles down Interstate 80-W and it took a lengthy 5 days to do it.  Each night I stumbled wearily into another mid-lane hotel (Days Inn, Hampton Inn….you know…all the “Inns”) and asked for a room – being sure to bat my tired eyes and ask “Is that as low as you can go?”.  Hint to the novice traveler, always ask for a lower rate…it’s like hotels are set up to haggle.  Each night I got at least $20 knocked off the room rate, once I even got $50 knocked off.  My biggest priority was clean sheets, clean bathrooms and free hot breakfast in the morning (waffles!)…

As we got closer to California the relief washed over me.  Not because the long days on the stretched out winding highways and the random hunts for health-appropriate road-food would finally end; but because New York was now behind me (literally).  I moved to New York four years ago a directionless girl.  I simply wanted change and a challenge.  Boy did I find it.  Everything about New York is comparable to a pumice stone, smoothing out your uncertainties and rough edges.  I needed that.  I needed to be aware – overly aware – that I was capable of a lot more than I grew up believing. After I got married my focus shifted.  I wanted to be a wife, a GOOD wife.  I didn’t want to be a part-time anything.  I wanted to be the one putting dinner on the table for my hard-working guy, easing his stress with my calming presence.  It’s hard to have a calming presence when you’ve just fought people traffic for an hour and toughed off aggressive male advances for four blocks while walking through Bed Stuy in heels.  I longed for the calm, and with baby coming I knew the calm wasn’t just a preference but a REQUIREMENT.  So it was goodbye Big Apple, hello California sun.  Time to be close to grandmas and aunts and uncles….close to our “village” for the sake of little Wiggles.

Now that I’m home, I feel like I’ve left half of my body somewhere on that long highway last week.  I physically feel lighter, brighter and more relaxed.  It helps that I’m temporarily retired…no more work for me.  My husband and I committed to becoming a one-income household when kids come along before we got married and we’re sticking to it.  Lucky me I’m married to a man who prides himself on taking care of his family. I gracefully said goodbye to my corporate gig, silently vowing never to return to that kind of work.  Good bye to the faceless crowds of paper-pushers, meeting-makers and Blackberry-tappers.

Now with my days open and clear, I can make them what I want for now (till baby comes of course).  Mama yoga in the morning, a visit to see my 14 month old niece, a long walk around the park, a stroll through the department store – taking mental notes of crib prices.  I can catch up on my reading and painting and most importantly…my writing.  And best of all, I can place my hands on my now obvious baby bump and focus my positive energy on my little growing prince or princess.  The second trimester has brought back my appetite, a gorgeous glow, lots of energy, a new-found love for my beautiful body and amazing confidence.  I can’t wait for the rest!

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There are so many things I want for this year.  Three months in and already I see and feel them begin to materialize.

I finished the forward to the book/project I’ve been planning to start for…well….too long.  To know that it’s completed and saved to the desktop of my Mac is like knowing I have changed the course of something.

I find myself aligned with the universe and with nature in so many ways right now.  As the clouds begin to lift in New York and the sun creeps out, and I leave our brownstone with just a sweater over my arms and my big round sunglasses on my face…I also feel my body shift.  I’m not sick all day anymore.  Now I can enjoy this little miracle growing inside me.  And during every moment in the day that isn’t occupied by people, or things I am mentally bonding with my child (hand over womb).

Now. Tell me my child doesn't have a REALLY nice head.

Next Saturday I’m cutting my hair.  Not as a sign of “UGH I want change” but as a clean starting point.  My natural roots have grown out and every time I shower and look in the mirror to see these amazing hills and valleys that live on my head only to be weighed down by straightened ends….I just know it’s time tolet go.

The most mitigating change that’s taking place is my last day at work.  Friday I walk out of that building for the very last time and don’t ever have to return.  I allowed that place to represent so much.  My failures, my dependency, my fears.  I took the money gig because I felt I have to, but I know that there are very few things in life we have to do.  I am not that person.  The one sitting at her desk nodding and censoring herself for co-workers, abiding by corporate policy.  Today as I walked through the forest of blue or grey suits and carefully matched Ann Taylor separates in my Target skirt, vintage jewelry and highlighter yellow scarf – my worn in leather loafers clicking against the cold marble floors…I took each loaded glance as a compliment.

  My husband and I are packing our stuff and driving back to our mother-state, California.  I want to chronicle this trip with pictures and video – a project I haven’t yet formulated in my mind completely, but that I want to develop into something amazing.  Our story, the beginning.

More to come!

We Finally Came Out of the Closet…

After an entire month of loaded silence, we finally announced it to the world yesterday…


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