Slowly the sweltering heat calms to a simmer and once again the breeze enters our lives; breaking up the monotonous summer. Fall approaches, lingering on an invisible fence, timidly considering its own arrival. As the season gently shifts so does my life. It’s getting closer to the day that I meet my son and I’m filled with stillness and gratitude. It’s all done. My bag is packed, his bassinet is set up and resting in its place near the door. Husband and I have completed our birth class, we are certified now – its official business. I have bottles and booties and tiny nail clippers. I have cloth diapers and blankets and a million burp clothes all washed several times over with non-toxic, biodegradable, Jesus approved laundry detergent. We are what one may call, “Locked and Loaded”.
So I wait.
I climb stairs hoping it will set off more than one contraction – but nothing. This child will choose his birthday and today is not the day. It’s one of those rare moments in life when you know your life is about to change. You know the face you see in the mirror will never look the same after this, you will never be the same person exactly. I remember only feeling this way a few times in life. The day I got on a one-way flight to New York. The day I got married. And now. Something tells me this is the doozy though. I try to imagine it but I have no frame of reference.
So I wait.
A week or so from now I’ll probably read this post (if I have time). I’ll look at it the same way I do old diary pages from high school. Smiling down at the girl I used to be with a half-smirk. Thinking about how I had no idea of the tidal wave life was about to hand me. So until then I’m signing off. My next post will be as a new mom!
Annnny day now…..